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Discipleship Is Conformity to Another

Brothers and Sisters,

The subject of discipleship has been on my mind lately. To be a disciple simply means to be a follower. I’ve had a sticky note on my desk for about a month now that says, “Discipleship means conforming yourself to the pattern of another person’s life.” Ultimately, we are disciples of Jesus. Ultimately, by the strength and power of the Holy Spirit, we conform our lives to the pattern of Jesus’ life. Still, I think that there is another practical way that we can do this too. See if you can pick it up from these three verses from the writing of the Apostle Paul:

  • “I urge you, then, be imitators of me” (1 Corinthians 4:16).
  • “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1)
  • “Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us” (Philippians 3:17)

Not only did Paul call others to follow him as he followed Jesus Christ, but he also said that we should keep our eyes on others who followed Jesus. In other words, we should learn from them.

Over the years, I’ve had many people tell me that they want to be discipled by a more mature believer. I’ve often responded by telling them to find someone they feel is faithfully following Jesus and ask them to do it. Sometimes it works out really well and other times it doesn’t. Schedules become challenging, so that it is hard to meet up with one another. We live in a really busy place, with really busy people, but if I may, I’d like to push back on this just a little.

The main reason I think that discipling relationships don’t work out is because a lack of humility. One person is not humble enough to conform their life to another person. If you’ve identified a man in the congregation who you think has a great relationship with the Lord, and you want your walk with God to look like his, then you take the time he gives you. If he says, “I can get together on Thursday afternoons at 2pm at this coffee shop,” then you should find a way to get to him on Thursday afternoons at 2pm. Similarly, if you’ve identified a woman in the congregation who you think has a great relationship with the Lord, and you want your walk with God to look like hers, then you take the time she gives you. If she says, “I’ve got to go grocery shopping on Saturday night. It is the only time I am alone. Do you want to come?” Then you say, “I’ll go and push your cart.”

What is more, if they tell you to read a book, listen to a sermon series, or do a particular Bible Study, then do it (seriously). Humility looks like submitting yourself to another – that is actually what being a disciple of Jesus looks like. So study what they tell you to study. You have identified that there is something about their walk with the Lord that you want, so let them guide you.

Those who are being asked to take the lead in such relationships also need humility. If that’s you, recognize that you don’t know it all, and that you need to keep learning. Make sure you express that. If you are being asked to take the lead in a one-on-one discipling relationship, make sure that you are encouraging others to study the right things. Don’t have others study your hobby horse issues. You’re trying to make a stronger follower of Christ, so be sure to encourage them to read books, listen to sermon series, or do Bible Studies that have strengthened your faith in Christ.

If you feel like this newsletter is really punchy, it probably is, I’m sorry. I need to grow in humility too. This has been bubbling up in my mind and I needed to put it to paper/screen.  This has been bubbling up in my mind because I think that the culture of discipleship in our church has room to grow (and that is on me and includes me). I pray that every member in our church would grow as a disciple of Jesus Christ, and for many of us that will mean rethinking how we think about discipleship. It will mean restructuring our lives around another person (Jesus and another disciple of Jesus). My sense is, though this will be awkward and strange at first, that over the long haul it will produce much good fruit and stronger disciples of Jesus Christ.

Warmly in Him,
Mike